Seduction: a management tool?

The company has become a place for personal development, and management has adopted a “cool attitude.” But just how cool is it, really?

A pleasant face, an open gaze, a slim figure, confident gestures. No employer would openly admit that these ingredients make up the basic recipe for professional success, or at least for preferential treatment in hiring. Yet that’s exactly what sociologist Jean-François Amadieu demonstrated in 2005, backed by a wealth of studies, in his book The Weight of Appearances (Odile Jacob). The book confirmed one of the workplace’s worst-kept secrets: to succeed, it’s better to be attractive—meaning good-looking, slim, and relatively young.

Amadieu cited, for instance, U.S. research showing that very unattractive men earn 9% less than average for the same job, while very attractive men earn 5% more than average. As director of the Observatory of Discrimination, he later revisited the theme in HR: The Black Book (Seuil, 2013). There, he showed how recruitment often turns out to be irrational and discriminatory, with photos serving as a major screening tool, and performance assessments plagued by imprecise criteria. By contrast, physical attractiveness consistently remains, consciously or not, a strong factor.

Delphine M., HR director of a major agribusiness company, thinks that picture is overly negative but admits that attractiveness is a criterion every potential employer inevitably takes into account. “At a certain level, or for certain representation roles, making a good first impression quickly is essential, and that’s not always compatible with overly distinctive physical traits, including extreme beauty, in men or women. But in real professional life, attractiveness lies more in relational skills than in physical appearance, and that’s a factor that helps restore equality.”

So, seduction it is. But in what form? The logic of seduction differs between bosses and employees. Gilles Dufour, coach, mentor, and supervisor, works with top executives at BNP Paribas, L’Oréal, and Canal+. From his experience, the “right seduction” of a leader, besides proven skills, comes from “knowing how to oil the wheels, finding the right words in tough situations, personalizing relationships without blurring boundaries, uniting and motivating to ‘sell’ change or a project.” By contrast, he says, those who “try too hard to be liked and give up their authority, or those who stay rigidly fixed on their position and fail to communicate with employees,” are bound to fail.

For employees, seduction also matters, perhaps even more so now. The crisis has played a role, but not only. “Competition among managers has intensified because there are more and more highly qualified profiles on the market,” notes Dufour. “So you need to ‘sell yourself’ by telling a story that makes the employer want you. That requires relational intelligence. Today, the people who succeed at seduction are those whose communication is flexible and empathetic, those who add softness to their words and behavior, because companies have become far more ‘emotional’ environments.”

Franck, 32, a product manager in the textile industry, recalls a piece of advice he received at the start of his career, which has since become his mantra. “It came from my boss, a brilliant man just a year from retirement. I was the headstrong, goal-driven type, barely noticing others. He told me: ‘Listen, smile, act.’ I followed his motto, and now people say I’m approachable and reliable, whereas before they only thought I was hyper-efficient!”

Sophie de Menthon, member of the Economic, Social and Environmental Council and creator of the “I Love My Company” event nine years ago, is also known for her frankness. Unsurprisingly, she denounces what she sees as the dominance of emotionalism and its consequences in business. “These days, on the management side, what we call seduction is often just cowardice or managerial softness. On the employee side, it’s all about flaunting feelings and minor complaints. Everyone wants to be pampered and liked, it’s childish! A leader who seduces, in the sense of convincing, should be someone respected and admired because they set goals, bring energy, and take responsibility.” As president of the employers’ movement Ethic, she advocates for restoring managerial courage and accountability. “That, in my view, is what makes someone professionally attractive.” But this often sparks conflict. And today, for both leaders and employees, conflict has become the ultimate enemy. Hence the rise of increasingly soft, psychological management styles.

For 25 years, Christophe Labarde coached top political and economic leaders and also ran the HEC alumni association for a decade. To him, “seduction in the professional world now takes the face of ‘coolness.’ Young graduates from elite schools want to thrive at work, or more precisely, not to ‘get stressed out.’ If they don’t, they leave. So managing firmly is out of the question. Instead, managers avoid direct confrontation, sugarcoat things, and that’s what gets called seductive, ‘cool,’ though it’s really just the tactic of a leader who no longer knows how to lead.”

In 2012, Universum, a research firm specializing in student environments, surveyed 30,000 elite school students about their ideal employer. Among the top five, just behind giants LVMH and L’Oréal, were three companies strongly associated (rightly or wrongly) with “coolness”: Apple, Google, and Canal+. Antoine, 22, an HEC student, lights up when describing Google’s brainstorming lounge in London: “Amazing, like a mix between a trendy pub and a designer showroom.” Similar enthusiasm shows up for IBM or Microsoft, which have eliminated traditional workspaces in favor of flexible stations where employees connect with their own laptops.

Sociologist Danièle Linhart, research director emerita at CNRS and author of Working Without Others? (Seuil, 2009), is not dazzled by all this “cool seduction.” For her, narcissistic, hedonistic seduction is simply the latest face of workplace constraint. “In the 1980s, seduction was ‘participatory’: communication techniques to foster dialogue within the company. In the 1990s, it was ethical: companies had to embody values and codes of conduct, and virtuous employees became unconditional champions of the firm. Today, seduction is narcissistic: the company presents itself as a space for personal growth, where engagement means pushing your limits, discovering inner resources, and, for younger workers, having fun. The trade-off is that employees mustn’t rock the boat. They must manage their emotions according to expectations—and if problems arise, coaches are there to fix them. Since professional relationships are framed as narcissistic seduction, personalized links, the employee is left alone with their mission and hierarchy. In case of failure, instead of questioning the system or management collectively, the individual feels it’s their own fault. Isolated, this feeling only intensifies. That’s the dark side of this seduction.”

Bury your fears, tell yourself it’s for the greater good, and keep smiling. The modern “seduction attitude” may well have all the charm of a visit to the dentist.