Evolve your identity by changing the stories we tell ourselves
" Identity is not a fixed photograph, but a living canvas that we paint every day with the brushes of our experiences and choices. "
Anonymous
Our identity is not fixed; it is multiple and ever-changing! To succeed and be fully happy, we need to regularly change the story we tell ourselves.
Changing our world means changing our story. But even better, changing our story helps us shed old thought patterns to create new ones. In this context, telling our story in a positive way is a powerful tool that supports change and the creation of a reality that serves us well. This strategy also helps us detach from stories, thoughts, or beliefs that no longer serve us.
There are different ways to facilitate the transformation of how we see ourselves. For example, you might decide to look at your past successes with a deeply personal perspective. In my case, I realized one of my achievements was breaking free from the narrow social mold of the provincial upper class to reinvent myself in the “bobo” (bohemian bourgeois) universe, which better matches my values of inclusivity, ecology, and self-acceptance in one’s uniqueness. To do this, I had to change the story I told myself and identify my key successes. But it was worth it, because I also discovered that this was one of my great talents.
Changing the story we tell ourselves about our professional successes—and especially how we tell it—is fundamental. Today, I no longer view my fifteen years working on a trading floor the same way as I did yesterday, because society’s view of this kind of success has evolved considerably. I regret nothing from my past, but I speak of it differently.
There is a very powerful introspective exercise that goes far beyond simple self-analysis: writing the story of your life. As a leader, you can thus craft a strong narrative identity that enriches your current leadership, the famous “connecting the dots” as Steve Jobs called it. This will also boost your self-confidence, sense of efficacy, and resilience.
Then the present
I am currently coaching a leader who has completed the first stage of his professional life: he sold his company and set aside enough to meet his security needs. Now, his new motivation is to shine—so he must change the story of his successes to align his perception of his talents with those needed for this new chapter.
From ascents to setbacks, each experience contributes to the complex fabric of one’s personal story. Like heroes in adventure films or comics, modern leaders shape their narrative identity by overcoming obstacles and constantly evolving. The captivating stories of our heroes are not just entertainment; they impact our psyche. By owning a story of struggle, resilience, and personal redemption, leaders better prepare themselves to face the challenges that mark their careers. It is their ability to see crises or setbacks as opportunities that distinguishes inspired and persevering leaders from others.
The benefits of narrative practice
Writing your story fosters clarity of thought and decision-making. Physically, it increases resistance to stress, thereby strengthening the immune system and boosting vitality. In other words, shaping your personal narrative is a comprehensive strategy for balancing the multiple facets of your leadership.
The process of personal and professional development is deeply linked to understanding our identity and personal story. When centered and in harmony with ourselves and the world around us, we become aware of the meaning and purpose of our lives.
To conclude, here are some tips to start changing the stories you tell yourself:
Observe the story you tell yourself like a movie you want to edit—modify, add, or remove scenes.
Before making changes, become aware of your inner dialogue. Are you prone to criticize or judge yourself? Do you want to change the story to please others or to avoid a reaction? Is this story truly authentic enough to resonate with others?
Decide if the story you have nurtured so far is still useful to you: if not, it’s time to free up space for something new and redesign it.
In summary, you can develop your talent as an inspiring leader by integrating narrative practice into your life and leadership. This will help you better guide your teams with an authentic and inspiring vision.
This end-of-year period, a natural time for reflection, is an excellent opportunity to dive into the pages of your story, helping you become the hero of your own professional epic, and maybe build your professional legend!
And you, what legend do you want to leave to your team?
#leadership #narrativepractice #identity #change #transformation