Friendship and leadership: our relationships are our greatest lever for transformation

“ The only way to have a friend is to be one.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, philosopher, and poet

I met Pascal more than thirty years ago, when I was studying at Supélec. On the very first day of school, two strangers who quickly discovered they shared the same ambition: to succeed and to be happy. We were different, but we shared a common reality: little family support, an immense desire to move forward, and the conviction that we could become better, together.

This friendship changed our lives.

When I became a trader, I convinced him to try his luck, and he succeeded brilliantly in that career. A few years later, he had a decisive encounter and decided to train as a coach. He then convinced me in turn, and I owe him a lot. His life took a new turn after September 11, 2001, when he left everything to become a doctor. Today he is an anesthesiologist in Boston, in the United States.

As for me, I became a coach, and over time I understood this: friendship can be a more powerful engine of transformation than any training or strategy.

Aristotle distinguished three forms of friendship: that of utility, that of pleasure, and that of virtue—the rarest, the one that elevates. In my opinion, in leadership, it’s the only one that truly matters.

Virtuous friendship: the mirror that makes you better

In organizations, we talk about strategy, governance, capital, efficiency. The truth lies elsewhere: your transformation comes through your relationships. It’s your close circle, your peers, your professional friends who reveal your blind spots. A founder without deep allies ends up isolated. A CEO without solid relationships loses footing the day everything starts to shake.

A virtuous friend is not someone who reassures you. It’s someone who reminds you of your ambition, your integrity, and your vision. They don’t flatter, they illuminate. They bring back the truth when:
• you get lost in ego,
• you choose the easy way out,
• responsibilities isolate you,
• stress distorts your decisions.

In the professional world, this is called a conscious ally. Aristotle called it virtuous friendship. It is rare, precious, and a strategic advantage.

Co-founders: the entrepreneurial couple

The relationship between co-founders, or between a president and a CEO, often resembles a couple more than a business partnership—marked by closeness, loyalty, creative tension, and a shared vision.

Paul Dubrule and Gérard Pélisson told me this when they agreed to sponsor Ingecom, the first joint engineering–business junior enterprise I created in 1984: “A strong duo can carry a company very far. A fractured duo can destroy it.”

Too many startups fail not because of the product or the market, but because of the duo itself. Because a business partner is the one who shares:
• impossible decisions,
• cash pressure,
• sleepless nights before a board meeting,
• doubts and vulnerabilities,
• victories we would never have imagined.

Like in a couple, this relationship requires:
• trust,
• unfiltered communication,
• healthy confrontation,
• the ability to name things before they explode.

The best duos understand something essential: you cannot scale a company without nurturing the relationship that carries it.

They ritualize a space to talk about:
• the business,
• the relationship,
• themselves (fatigue, emotions, doubts).
This is what creates the inner solidity that withstands external storms.

Professional friendships: the backbone of leaders

The greater the responsibility, the more leaders need solid, lucid, and demanding friendships. Because ambition isolates. Power isolates. Rhythm isolates. Those who last cultivate relationships that help them stay aligned, grounded, and clear.

However, some old friendships do not always withstand diverging paths, levels of success, or financial situations. This doesn’t mean they are lost, but that they need to be revisited.

Truly transformational professional friendships offer three vital resources:
• A space to drop the mask and be yourself.
• A lucid, uncompromising challenge.
• A constant reminder of values when pressure rises.

Mentors, peers, sparring partners: they are the ones who make leadership sustainable.

Our personal and strategic longevity is built through our relationships

Studies on aging are unequivocal: the quality of relationships is one of the greatest determinants of our health and longevity. For a company, performance relies on its model, its market, and its capital. For a leader, it relies above all on their relational ecosystem: deeply connected partners, professional friendships that elevate, and personal relationships that bring them back to what matters.

This is the foundation that enables us to last, decide, and transform. It is a growth lever, a space of truth, a pillar of resilience.

So if you were to remember only one question today:
Who in your life truly elevates you? And whom could you elevate more?

#friendships #leadership #growth