I disagree, yet I align.
“ Conflict is inevitable; confrontation is a choice.”
Max Lucado, American speaker
A leader’s true power is not revealed in their decisions… but in the tensions they dare to face.
A leader’s strength does not lie solely in vision or charisma. It comes above all from the people around them: their executive committee, their teams, their family, their friends. These are the people who give meaning to decisions, challenge ideas, and provide support when complexity rises.
A team is a living organism—made of tensions, differences, and friction. And that is precisely where its power lies. Knowing how to manage conflict, align priorities, and establish respectful communication is what turns a group into a cohesive collective. Ultimately, it is the alignment between the leader and the executive committee, and then between the executive committee and the teams, that makes the difference.
Aligning vision and priorities
A collective performs well only when each member understands the direction to follow and how their contribution fits into the whole. As a coach, I have sometimes seen disagreements arise—and even explode—not because of ideas themselves, but because the vision was not shared.
This requires defining a common vision and translating it into operational priorities.
In practice:
Clarify the strategy with your executive committee. Every project must be part of a shared overarching vision.
Establish regular check-ins to synchronize information and adjust priorities without creating unnecessary tension.
Encourage transparent and direct communication: when everyone understands what others are doing and why, the collective gains autonomy and efficiency.
Being aligned yourself—and aligning a team—requires discipline and consistency. When a team shares the same vision, it can face disagreements and tensions calmly, because everyone knows that conflict serves a common goal.
Establishing positive, constructive confrontation
An executive committee is not always a smooth ride. Do you feel like disagreements are constantly on the agenda? That’s normal. Tension is not a sign of failure—it’s an indicator that each person is defending their responsibilities and convictions.
So what is the leader’s role? To transform this energy into something constructive rather than allowing it to become paralyzing conflict. Encourage the expression of opinions, name points of friction, and channel debates toward clear decisions.
With explicit ground rules and transparent, non-violent communication, even the most intense tensions can become a driver of collective performance.
Concretely:
Express needs and expectations without judgment or blame: say “I observe that…” rather than “You did…”.
Practice active listening within your executive committee: understanding before responding reduces misunderstandings and fosters collaboration. Remember—people need to feel heard, not just be heard.
Encourage constructive feedback at all levels, including upward feedback toward managers. Every member should feel free to raise an issue or suggest an improvement—and this applies equally to your teams.
Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication framework offers a powerful structure: OFNR
O for Observation, F for Feeling, N for Need (the fundamental need to be met), and R for Request.
Nonviolent—or thoughtfully confrontational—communication does not reduce debate. It transforms disagreement into a lever for performance and prepares the ground for healthy conflict, where friction becomes a source of innovation and cohesion.
Turning tension into strength: healthy conflict
Healthy conflict is not chaotic or destructive. It is a space where disagreements are channeled to move the team forward. It is a collective’s ability to confront divergent ideas without allowing tension to paralyze decision-making.
In practice, this means:
Encouraging debate on strategic topics rather than imposing top-down decisions.
Bringing opposing viewpoints into a psychologically safe space where every voice matters.
Turning friction into collective learning and continuous improvement of internal processes.
Imagine a leader who enters an executive committee meeting with the goal of clarifying company culture to give greater meaning to teams. Very quickly, they encounter a familiar reality: their managers hold radically different views.
Rather than deciding unilaterally, the leader chooses to turn this tension into a lever for cohesion. Each manager is invited to present their vision, enriched by input from their teams—through a World Café format, for example.
Integrating the perspective of others is that crucial step aside that allows one to see their own arguments differently. This necessary divergence becomes the key to defining a clear, shared core message. Company culture becomes clearer, executive cohesion strengthens, and each member leaves motivated to embody and carry this vision to their teams.
As a coach, I see every day how the management of tension and team alignment makes a tangible difference in real organizational performance.
A leader is not only someone who makes strategic decisions. A leader is someone who knows how to mobilize people, build trust, and transform disagreement into collective learning. When this happens, cohesion, efficiency, and organizational performance are all strengthened.
#coaching #healthyconflict #leadership